There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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