I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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