I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
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Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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