I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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