look no pants
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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