apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
MIDGETS
????
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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