Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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