my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
ttyl tear gas
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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