I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize