How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize