I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If I die, sorry about rent.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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