she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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