he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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