I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
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Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize