so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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