did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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