Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize