Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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