The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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