I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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