i permit you to call me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
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