there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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