im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
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We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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