Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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