Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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