I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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