Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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