i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize