Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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