Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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