So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
