hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize