I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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