I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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