you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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