he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
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i don't really know how much tequila is too much
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
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I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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