He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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