I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize