New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We talked him into tasing himself.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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