fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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