ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
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we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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