i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I forget how to act sober
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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