The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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