went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Welp...herpes.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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