He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
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my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
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If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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