Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize