In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
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She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
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After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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