adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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