just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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