ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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